Mutant Thyroid

I recently had surgery to remove my thyroid, which was slowly trying to kill me through strangulation. Seeing as how I love to breathe, it made sense to remove it completely and replace it with a couple of pills every day. Here's the weird thing. Its like learning to swallow all over again as my throat feels completely different.

I have also noticed that sometimes I end up making weird noises when I do things which shouldn't be accompanied by sound effects. For example, leaning down to pick up my shoes elicits a weird sound like a whining bullfrog. I remember the first time it happened, I was thinking "Where the fuck did that come from!". I know you start to make noises as you get older, but this is ridiculous.

I think they should include this in your information pack that the hospital gives you. Just under, "Taking Care of your Scar" should be something like. "If you start making the mating cry of an African Bullfrog for no reason ... call your surgeon immediately."